THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BRANDON J. VAN EVERY BEFORE REPLYING TO
ONE OF HIS POSTS
1. He has never designed any game, nor contributed to the design of
any game, which has ever seen the light of day, despite referring
to himself as a "game designer." (In rebuttal, he pointed out his
"one complete game" from "1983" on the "Atari 800" which he showed
to his "8th grade math teacher.")
2. He has never been employed in the game industry, in any way,
shape, manner or form. Despite this, for some reason he managed
to get named as an Independent Games Festival judge; a curious
turn of events, since their stated intent is to appoint
"professionals in the game industry" (their quote, not his).
3. In fact, the only programming job he had listed on his resume was
for only "2 years" ending in "1998," working in C and assembly on
a graphics driver, as a "Sr. Software Engineer" -- a curious
title, since this was his first (and only) job in the software
industry. There is no evidence he has used C++, nor any other
language, professionally. (And the company in question is
defunct, anyway, so there is no way to verify his claim.)
4. The other jobs he has mentioned having after this one and only
items on his resume are: "yard maintenance work," "painting
apartments," "scrubbing floors," "sub minimum wage signature
gathering," and working for "$5/hour at a Vietnamese restaurant."
5. The only personal project he actually wrote code for and made
available in some manner was Free3d, a software 3D rendering
engine. Stating that its goals were to be "100% efficient, 100%
portable" and to release it in a "one year time frame," which he
started in "1993" and abandoned in "1996," admitting that it
"barely drew even a single polygon" and "did hardly anything in
the 3D department."
6. Almost every Internet community (Usenet newsgroup, mailing list,
etc.) he has ever introduced himself to has resulted in him
repeating the same pattern: asking leading questions, demanding
people do things his way, becoming hostile, annoying the other
participants, alienating them, and finally leaving in disgust.
7. Of the projects (open source and otherwise) whose communities he
has (briefly) joined, he has never contributed anything tangible
in terms of code or documentation.
8. The project he has intermittently claimed to be working on, Ocean
Mars, is vaporware -- and is one of his admitted "failures." He
allegedly sunk "nine months of full time 60 hours/week" and about
"$60K" into it with only a "spherical hexified icosahedron"
display to show for it (only allegedly, since it has never been
shown or demonstrated publicly).
9. Since his embarassing frustration with his Ocean Mars project, he
has decided that C and C++ aren't "worth anything as a resume
skill anymore," and embarked on a quest in 2003 to find a
high-level language that will suit his needs. After more than a
year, at least ten languages, and not having even "written a line
of code" in any of them, he still has yet to find a language that
will suit him.
10. Finally, despite vehemently insisting that he is not a troll, many
people quite understandingly have great difficulty distinguishing
his public behavior from that of a troll.