Well, the first thing is as an independent developer, dealing with hosting
companies and ISPs is usually the worst part of developing a site for a
client that cant afford a dedicated hosting environment. You cant count on
any hosting company that says they support this or that framework/middleware
until youve actually gone in and run some tests and prototypes on your own.
Many unfortunate things can go wrong, such as incorrect versions,
permissions getting reset and the like. Stuff breaks in the best of
situations, and it can only get worse when your infrastructure is totally
out of your control.
With regards to your ftp situation, you should not count on the ftp client
in windows, but rather on something like wsftp which is a better client. Its
actually not unheard of that you can view other peoples folder, although its
not a great situation and you dont really see that happening anymore. I dont
use an ms IDE to develop so Im not familiar with the nature of transfering
through frontpage/visual studio - although that is a much better way to work
than having to drag files into an ftp client everytime you want to move
something over to test it.
My suggestion is you drop your isp and find a hosting company that
specializes in .net hosting. Ive heard good things about maximumasp.com but
havent used them. i used halfpricehosting.com for a lot of asp projects and
had generally good results with them but have not used them for a .net
project besides my own site. Good luck.